The Last Goodbye

Humanist and non-religious funeral ceremonies are becoming increasingly popular. Here are some practical points to remember.

1. If you prefer to have a Humanist ceremony when you die it is essential that those likely to be responsible for arranging the funeral are aware of your wishes. It is not enough to mention the matter in your will, which may be read AFTER the funeral takes place.

2. If you are arranging a ceremony for a relative or friend, you must act as soon as the death has occurred. You might want to contact the Ulster Humanist Association in order to obtain advice or for the services of an officiant. If so, the number to ring is 0 1846 677264.

3. If you ask for a Humanist officiant, he or she will want to make contact with those closest to the deceased as soon as possible. This is in order to gather information and start building up a picture of the deceased person.

4. It is wise to try to find an officiant before the date and time of the funeral are finalised, as they have to make their arrangements and may not be available at any time.

5. Even if you are requesting a Humanist officiant, it is sometimes possible to find a friend or relative of the deceased who is prepared to say a few words. Some first hand anecdotes and reminiscences give a personal touch to the occasion, which is much harder to achieve when the tribute is delivered by a stranger. Failing that, a bereaved family will sometimes provide a written tribute, which the officiant can incorporate into the ceremony.

6. A Humanist funeral is usually conducted at a crematorium, but can take place in a cemetery or elsewhere.

7. The ceremony is of a simple, personal nature, and includes a tribute, with poetry or other readings as appropriate. Music chosen by the family can be played.

8. If you wish to officiate yourself at the funeral of a friend or relative, the British Humanist Association publishes a booklet of practical guidance: Funerals Without God (£4.50 including postage). This can be obtained by ringing the number given above.

At A Humanist Funeral

Music that the person enjoyed is played. A talk about what this person had given to life is delivered. Poems or prose pieces are read.

Lines by Samuel Butler
I fall asleep in the full and certain hope that my slumber shall not be broken; and that though I be all-forgetting, yet shall I not be all-forgotten, but continue that life in the thoughts and deeds of those I loved.

Lines by Ewan MacColl
Take me to some high place of heather, rock and ling; scatter my dust and ashes, feed me to the wind. So that I will be part of all you see. The air you are breathing, I'll be part of the curlew's cry and the soaring hawk The blue milkwort and the sundew hung with diamonds. I'll be riding the gentle wind that blows through your hair; reminding you how we shared In the joy of living.

Lines by Dacre
Do not stand at my grave and weep I am not there. I do not sleep. I am the thousand winds that blow, I am the diamond glint on snow. I am the sunlight on ripened grain. I am the gentle autumn rain. When you wake in the morning - hush, I am the swift, uplifting rush of quiet birds in circling flight I am the soft starlight at night. Do not stand at my grave and weep. I am not there. I do not sleep.